Earth itself is Hell.

            I don't know, but this is just an opinion.

        They say that in Heaven we wouldn't feel any pain, there will be no Greed, Lust or any of the deadly sins. We'll just be satisfied. They say that in Hell, you'll feel all kinds of pain. All of us or some of us will suffer when we're in Hell. We'll be with Lucifer, Satan & all the other evil. But you know what, those things are some verse in the bible. They say that Hell is a bad place to live in and there are lots of evil spirits who stays there while in Heaven you'll be with the Archangels and God and Jesus and you will feel no pain.

        But you know what? There really is no Hell, because Earth itself is. You know why? It's because we feel pain here on Earth. We suffer, we cry, we get sad. Every one of us has the seven deadly sin. So Lucifer and Satan lives among us. Some people say that Lucifer is a fallen angel because he betrayed God and went down to Earth and be the right hand of Satan. You know why he went to Earth? He got jealous, every angel got jealous that's why they went down and called fallen angels. They went down because God puts more attention to the humans more than the angels. That they just follow the rules and have to obey it. Lucifer and the others doesn't want that. He also wants to be free like the humans. Though he doesn't want what God do, to destroy what God himself made because of one mistake. That seems unfair. Lucifer also wants the human beings to gain knowledge and to know what is happening to Earth and the other things. Satan wants us to have a choice, not to obey things even if it will satisfy us. Like what Eve did, she ate the fruit of knowledge because she made a choice, to eat it and to know what is happening. To know what to feel for her own self. That's why every now and then people have their choices, their own decision like what the "devils" want to happen. Lucifer and Satan isn't that bad, because they gave us a chance to feel, to be happy in our own way. He wants us to love and fall apart, to get our hearts broken and to pick it up, to learn from our mistakes.

          If the bible says that you are not allowed to sing because it's the work of "evil" and that's what it teaches us, then why do church choirs and any other people sing? In the bible it says that you are not allowed to worship idol but how do people know that Jesus is white or has a white complexion when in where he lives, all of the people there look like an Arab or has a dark complexion? The priests preach that it is God's will why all of the destruction happens or why all things happen, but what is God's will? Does anyone know what it is?

         All of these questions kept me hanging. 

It never occur to me to think what will happen to me in the future when my friends or anyone asks me. I mean, i dunno. I just go with the flow to everything that comes my way. It's that simple. :) Though I do have plans for my future, i just don't know why i can't tell it to some persons who asks about it. Anyway, life goes on and i accept everything in my life. People go in and out of my life and that's just that. I can't force them to stay. Anyone who goes in my life? I keep them, and it's up to them if they want to leave or not. If they want to screw things up or be happy with me. That's me, i put the decision in the person, i don't decide. I just tell them "it's up to you because whatever you want i'm fine with that." But you know what i really want? All of them people? I want them to stay in my life and just be the same. :)

"Everyone deserves someone or something better."

 But what if that better isn't what you wanted but still you needed it. Do you still deserve it? Sometimes it's not just you that make things complicated. It's the environment around you. The world isn't always with you, it doesn't go always to what you wanted and you just got to accept that fact. Some people would try to let you down, some would try to break your heart over and over again. But trust me, there will always be that one person who can make you happy, whom you can be your own self, who can understand you better than anyone else. Either it's a new one coming into your life or someone who has been with you all along. :)

"Ang pinakamalaking pagsisisihan mo sa buhay ay yung hindi mo nasabi yung dapat mong sabihin kasi naduwag ka."

-- Naduwag nga ako pero hindi mo naman ako nakuhang ipaglaban. Mas mabuti nga siguro na nakikita ko na hindi ka na kagaya ng dati para magkaroon ako ng dahilan na kalimutan ka na talaga. Mas oonti ang sakit na nararamdaman ko kung ganoon lang.

February, please be nice. :|

They say that it's the eldest's fault when the younger one's are making a mistake. That it's all their fault because their younger brothers or sisters just reflects their actions. Well, hell. It's not always their fault! For once, does the parents thought about it's the younger one's friends who are influencing him or her? Or his or her surroundings? The eldest are mature enough to not show bad things. And yet, here they are, the parents or older ones talking to them, scolding them, telling their eldest "it's all your fault! Their copying you! You're not telling them what to do! You're an irresponsible big sister or brother!" Have you told yourself that you can't just blame them like that? That they are hurting to what you're saying? Maybe just a glimpse in your mind, yeah? It loses their self-esteem. They seem to be inappropriate for a position of leader because he or she cannot even lead his or her siblings. That's why sometimes or always, when something's wrong, they blame it on themselves.

Hello there. :D

Sorry for not updating this account :D
Midterm's done last week. I did good. On some subjects. HAHA!
But it's ayt. :)
Take care :D


Ooh-just-random :P

Memories that pierce her through her heart.

January 2, 2011

           She felt another tear rush right down on her face. They run down as fast as they can and she can't do anything about it. She remembers her mom again, and she's in deep pain as she imagines her crying in that hospital bed at her father's house. All she remember is her, her mom's face, though it's blurry, she could see her mom's tears, and the sadness in her mom's eyes. Yes, that's what she's all seeing in Three in the morning, and at that time, she knows she's missing her mom. Those little times they are together, the bonds that they have when her mother's not feeling well anymore.

         For the first time, she's disappointed at her mom, for not letting her know what she's going through. For not telling her when there's no way to cure her mom. She's too young to know, yes, but she could've understand if it was well-explained. But now, she's not disappointed anymore. She knows her mom doesn't want her to cause pain in her, when she was just merely little. But now, she knows very well that her mom can't bear seeing her children cry. It would cause her more pain if they'll know that she's already dying. And now, as she goes back in reality, when her mom's really gone and she can't do anything about it. She consider thinking on the bright side, that her mom's happy to be with them. Those times they're with her mom. Their bondings when they were little. The time that she stayed at her grandfather's house just to take care of her mom. Those times that her mom would sneaked up on her school so that they could talk even for awhile, at that time, her mom was in Q.C. and would go to her school in Biñan.

         Yes, she appreciate those things. She appreciate every good thing that her mom did. And yes, she remembers it all, and that's what keeps her going on in life. She knows her mom is happy somewhere and that she's safe, just like her. And as she sleeps, she puts a smile on her face, knowing that her mom would tuck her tight, and telling her that everything is going to be alright. And that she loves her so much.

• What her mom wrote on the book that she gave:

"May this book be your guide to a good and better life. Always remember that i will be here for you inspite of what has happened.. You and your brothers are my inspiration in life and it is what keeps me going on in life... Love, Mommy"

GoodAfternoon, Sunday :)

Okay, i just woke up. Time check: 12:43pm
Oh.sh.t. I don't know if i can wake up early on the 4th of January. -____-
I'm having a hard time sleeping with all the thoughts in my head. You can see my post that it's 4:34 in the morning ;)
Anyway, i've got to get moving, clean up most of the beds. But first, i need to wash my face & so on :D
I'll post the note i have later after the cleaning thing is done. :)

--- Kirsten Martin